Funerals / Memorial Services
Most of us experience the death of a loved one at some time in our lives, and ultimately we will experience our own death. There are many questions for which we seek answers, questions such as why we die, and what happens to us when we do. Values and beliefs around the issues of death and afterlife differ among cultures, but these are issues we all face. All cultures use rituals and ceremonies to answer these questions, and to cope with and grow through these experiences.
Today our society is more open to talking about the issues surrounding death. The hospice movement and evolving consciousness has increased our awareness for the need to think about, and even prepare for, the death of a loved one, or for our own death. Pre-planned instructions can be given to family members that detail our wishes for the disposition of our body after death or for the kind of funeral or memorial service we want.
Funerals or memorial services should offer those who are grieving the opportunity to do this among family and friends. These rituals and ceremonies can promote deep healing and integration. Many times, unfortunately, traditional funeral rites do not meet the grieving needs of those who attend. We can create new rituals and ceremonies that offer profound meaning, and include songs, readings and the sacred space within which participants can grieve and heal.
I have found the following resources to be very helpful.
BOOKS
Brener, Anne. Mourning & Mitzvah, A Guided Journal for Walking the Mourner’s Path Through Grief to Healing. Woodstock, NY: Jewish Lights Publishing, 1993.
Chase, Deborah. Dying at Home with Hospice, To Die Unafraid, in Peace and Among Friends. St. Louis: C.V. Mosby Company, 1986.
Kubler-Ross, Elizabeth. All of her books
Rinpoche, Sogyal. The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. Harper San Francisco, 1992.
Searl, Edward. In Memoriam, A Guide to Modern Funeral and Memorial Services, 2nd Ed. Boston: Skinner House Books, 2000.
Wolfelt, Alan D. Creating Meaningful Funeral Ceremonies, A Guide for Caregivers. Ft. Collins, CO: Companion Press, 1994.
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